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The people asked the Hodja,
“Dear Hodja, tell us,
where should we go in a funeral procession,
in front, at the back,
or at the side?”
The Hodja answered,
“It doesn’t matter where you go,
as long as you don’t go in the coffin.”
PİANO
Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation?
Bosque: Yes, of course. Arogones
Arogones: Great! I never could before! 🙂
WHO DİSCOVERED AMERİCA?
Teacher: Maria please show America on the map.
Maria: Here it is.
Teacher: Good. Then kid, who discovered America?
Class: Maria did ,teacher.
AFTER THE POLİCE HAVE GONE!!
A Scotsman who was driving home one night, ran into a car driven by an EnglishmanThe Scotsman got out of the car to apologize and offered the Englishman a drink from a bottle of whisky. The Englishman was glad to have a drink.
“Go on,” said the Scot, “have another drink.”
“The Englishman drank gratefully. “But don’t you want one, too?” he asked the Scotsman.
“Perhaps,” replied the Scotsman, “after the police have gone.”
THE WRONG WOMAN
Andy: Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
B: Yes I am, because I married the wrong woman
THE SAME QUESTİON
“Am I the first man you have ever loved?” John asked.
“Of course,” Linda answered “Why do men always ask the same question?”.
YOU ARE NEXT!!!!!
When I was young I didn’t like going to weddings.
My grandmother would tell me, “You’re next’’However, she stopped saying it after I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.
THE MOUSE
Ashly: I’m in a big trouble!
Jason: Why is that?
Ashly: I saw a mouse in my house!
Jason: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a mouse trap.
Ashly: I don’t have one.
Jason: Well then, buy one.
Ashly: Can’t afford one.
Jason: I can give you mine if you want.
Ashly: That sounds good.
Jason: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap.
Ashly: I don’t have any cheese.
Jason: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.
Ashly: I don’t have oil.
Jason: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.
Ashly: I don’t have bread.
Jason: Then what is the mouse doing at your house?!
THE FİRST 3 YEARS OF MARRİAGE
The First 3 Years of Marriage
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen
YOU CAN HAVE MİNE!!!!!!!
A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”.
The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”
LOVE
Love is one long sweet dream, but marriage is the alarm clock.
I CAN’T WORK IN THE DARK
Two factory workers are talking.
The woman says, “I can make the boss give me the day off.”
The man asks, “And how would you do that?”
The woman says, “Just wait and see.” She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and screams, “What are you doing?”
The woman answers, “I’m a light bulb.”
The boss then adds, “You’ve been working so much that you’ve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.”
The man begins to follow her and the boss shouts, “Where are you going?The man says, “I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.”
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ENGLISH TIME !!!!!! 